In the future we'll all be gay
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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