oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
