my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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