We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
