i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
