I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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