ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
