He had one of those small greek statue penises
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
