Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
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He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
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So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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