hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
