Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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