I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
