Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize