It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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