umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.