I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.