Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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