she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba