Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
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I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
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I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.