I hate your face
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
