Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
