she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm at about main and main street
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
