Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
