well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
