Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
