my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
