Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
