Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
