I am in a vortex of obligation.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
