You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
