My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I am never drinking with the goths again.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
