He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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