"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize