I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
