how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize
