it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Do vagina's smell?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize