i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
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I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just high enough for therapy.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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