Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
