My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
What happened to fro yo and sex?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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