Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
you never un-have a 4some
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
