Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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