Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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