Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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