Sry I called you an 8
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
