Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
