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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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