Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
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