walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
