did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
