I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
