thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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