How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
