i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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