he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
