it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
