Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize