I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
