how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
