Swine flu. Run for my life!
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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