were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
