he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
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On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
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my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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