This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
