Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
