Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
no, he came in my armpit
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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