Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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