quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize