i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
