I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
